“Are you sure you wanna start now? It ain’t lookin’ too good out right now.”

“We gotta do it at some point, you know we’re tight on money, Erica. If we get fined again, we might have to sell the truck!”

“I know, it’s just . . . UGH. Fine. Go ahead, but if something goes wrong. . . ahh, I don’t even wanna think about that. Just get it over with, please.”

“Alright, here we go.” The man moved the coffee table to the side of the living room, stood on the rug in between the couch and the TV, and tuned into Channel Ninety-Six. Macarena by Los Del Río started to blast from the surround sound speakers, and the man got to work. First, his right arm, then his left. All of a sudden, the right arm inverted, then the left! The man’s hips were shaking vigorously with every beat, immersed fully within the rhythm. His right hand pivoted and rested at his left shoulder, followed by his left hand. Both hands traveled up behind the man’s head one at a time, then down to his hips. He then started to shake his hips in a circular motion, all while maintaining a serious and stern demeanor. He jumped and turned 90 degrees counter-clockwise, when he was interrupted by Erica.

“Eric, this is serious, I really need you to stop, they just put us under a tornado warning, probably coming right at us. We gotta get down in the basement, hun.”

“Erica! I told you-“

“I KNOW! I value your life over our money, hell, even our reputation! PLEASE, Eric! Just get down in the basement!”

“You know what I have to do! Just let me be!”

The air fell silent, and was filled with a faint rumbling sound . The only other noise that could be heard was the faint rhythm of the Macarena coming from the TV.

“What?! It’s that close already!? ERIC!! GET THE HELL DOWN HERE!”

“I’ll be down in a sec Erica! You’re acting like you didn’t agree to this! I have to do this!”

The rumbling had started to shake the walls as well as the ear drums.

“ERRIICC!! You’re only at the tenth verse! You are going to DIE!! GET! DOWN! HERE!”

Eric simply stared at the screen and shook his head. He had to suppress tears. Erica turned to look out the window and could only see an amorphous sea of dust and debris swirling around. There was no speck of the beautiful landscape she had known for years.

“Eric.” Erica said with a lump in her throat “You know I’m not going down if you’re not. Please. Do it for me. Do it for us.”

Eric did not acknowledge her. He continued to awkwardly stare at the screen. He then had to turn 90 degrees, now facing towards Erica. Eric tried his best to look away from Erica, but he had to lock eyes with her once in while. The rumbling had become deafening, leaving no room for the particles in the air to carry the gospel of the Macarena. Erica could do nothing but shake her head and cry.

The siding had started to rip off of the house as if they were hangnails, then the brick frame of the house started to disintegrate, flying into the dusty abyss. The entire house crumbled like unglued legos around Eric and Erica. This was the universe at it base state, pure, unadulterated entropy. The couple’s fate was simply left to chance, though it was a pretty damn slim chance.

A couple of minutes later, Eric opened his eyes and saw nothing but a tornado zooming away from him and the foundation of his house at his feet. Erica was no where to be seen. He fell to his knees, and couldn’t even find the strength to cry, to breathe. He could hear the hum of a vehicle dashing along the highway to his right, he glanced over and saw a storm chaser vehicle turning into his driveway. Eric stared the vehicle down the entire time it winded towards him. The door popped open and two armed men in ballistic vests stepped out.

“SIR! You are in violation of chapter iv, article xxvii of the Macarena Convention of 2003! You must forfeit 2000 dollars immediately!”

Eric could barely even stay upright. His ears were ringing and his head was spinning.

“SIR! —- – the m–ey _NOW!”

He began to fall over.

Article XXVII: OBLIGATIONS AND DUTIES OF THE DANCER

Section 1:
The Dancer, having entered into the performance of The Dance, shall be obligated to execute all movements, steps, and gestures prescribed by tradition, without deviation or premature cessation.

Section 2:
No external force, distraction, or interruption, including but not limited to physical discomfort, unexpected events, or intervention by third parties, shall be deemed sufficient cause for the cessation of The Dance prior to its completion.

Section 3:
Failure to complete The Dance will result in a mandatory fine decided upon by local law enforcement.